NEWS STORY OF THE MONTH

BREAKING NEWS: A GIANT, DRUNK, BASEBALL LOVING, STEAK EATING, ONCE-CHILD ACTOR-NOW-OVERLY-MEDICATED PRIMATE ATTACKS FRIEND, GETS STABBED, ESCAPES POLICE AND RUNS AMOK IN THE STREETS OF NEW YORK CITY.

SERIOUSLY.  FILED UNDER: WHAT. THE. FUCK?!